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A New Life Chapter | My Personal Journey Continues

Leave a Comment / Authenticity, Change, Clarity, Coffee Break Stories, Courage, Midlife Story, Midlife woman / By

A gentle bend in my road beckons ✨

Time to veer away for a bit and go check it out!

-Sometimes, it’s just time to head somewhere else-

When your heart lets you know, you’ll know. And mine has been tugging at my sleeve lately for my full attention.

Heart:  “Pssst, hey you!”
Me:  “Yes, in a minute—I’m driving!”
Heart:  “I know, but it’s time to slow down.”
Me:  “I don’t have time for that!”
Heart:  “Ummm, you don’t have time not to!”
Me:  “I have to keep going or I won’t get There!”
Heart+Soul:  “Are you sure you know where There is? We don’t think so … stop!”
Me:  “Fine, fine!” (braking) Y’all happy now?” (secretly relieved and in agreement)

Where I Want To Be  is currently being examined.

The start of a new year is a good time to reflect and reassess. Maybe my direction will change. Maybe not.

But now that Introspection accepted my invitation recently, I’m already sensing that my route will be slightly recalculating.

And stepping back from here is also part of the deal. 

The way I’m wired, I have to dial down both other voices and my own so I can hear myself think. Otherwise, it’s an overwhelming and distracting cacophony.

next chapter
artem podrez | pexels

Each one of us has an individual journey to complete. 

Only we should set the course, or else we give away our power. It may seem logical to do what everyone else is doing or go where everyone else is going. To keep doing what we’ve been doing for a while.

But does your heart agree? Is it expanding your soul? Did you ask?

Pause and pivot as needed, on your way to being your best self!💫

A New Chapter

It’s been a month since I last posted.

It was not a planned outage. Yet in retrospect, I don’t believe it randomly happened.

It started with a pause on social media. IG has been thwarting me (and everyone else!) with hiding friend posts, suggesting other posts, and urging me to reel for money! 🫠

Ironically, I last wrote here about my friend, Jo, who took an indefinite SM break because she didn’t care for how it monopolized her life. And how it created stress to show up even more entertaining and clever than the last time. Which got me thinking how much I vibed with this…

Yet I’m also realizing that I’m ready to write a new chapter. While I have a very lovely life, I’m yearning to shake things up a bit with something new. Which means doing the same stuff isn’t bringing me as much joy any more.

I’m in a rut so I’m due for something different. I don’t exactly know what but I’m taking time to figure that out.

I’ll be circling back now and then. But for now, you know as much as I do about where I’m headed.

Are you also yearning for a new chapter?

Allow yourself to let go in order to discover a new adventure. Live a life you love!

Until we meet again— thanks for stopping by! 

Resources

Here’s a universal link to EIGHT short TED talks for how to renew your creative juices! (you’re welcome:)

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An Insider Pass: Ruminating About The Instagram Circus With Jo

Leave a Comment / Authenticity, Clarity, Coffee Break Stories, Midlife, Midlife Story, Midlife woman, Midlife women, Over50, Social Media, Women Over50 Stories / By

Once upon a time, a good friend shrugged and said, “I just don’t get that Seinfeld show—why do you think it’s so funny?” And I was like, “How can you not get it?!” It was the mid-1990s and it was a new format for TV: a show about nothing! 

Fast-forward, and now ordinary, slice-of-life quips are everywhere. People love them! And my Insta-friend, Jo Davies, deftly dishes up the best relatable observations in her Instagram profile, @midlifehighway.

Well—that is until she took an IG hiatus this summer. Where’d she go? Why’d she leave? When’s she coming back?? 🙆🏻‍♀️

I wanted the scoop on this brilliantly clever woman. So I decided to go straight to the source: While vacationing in London, I had lunch with Jo last month! That’s right, an IRL meetup with a virtual friend across the pond, imagine that!  

Naturally, we shared many laughs as we bantered about everything and nothing. It was a lovely, light afternoon filled with little bites, a little window shopping, and even a little Prosecco (just for me)—ahhh! 

Then in a very candid followup (via Zoom) a couple weeks later, I was privy to personal thoughts absent from her IG profile. Not a shock: who doesn’t have a carefully curated public image? Yet who doesn’t wonder about the private persona of those we follow and befriend on Instagram? 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Today’s #CoffeeBreakStory is the 6th in my #MidlifeStories series about Women Over 50 pursuing a life with curiosity and contentment.

Social media tends to be a highly filtered version of life.  

Like many of those on IG, I adore seeing pretty things, too. But there’s nothing like a shot of authenticity to dispel FOMO on what appears to be someone else’s fairy tale story! So this series pulls back the curtain to reveal everyday women living life happily on their own real terms. Which then reassures that our own lives are just fine!

You may want to grab a double shot ☕️ midway through ’cause Jo and I really dig into some midlife truths in this behind-the-scenes story! (5 minutes in length).

Right, let’s get this show started! 🌟

Instagram

The Instagram Spotlight

If you’re like most, a brief Instagram break starts with the best of intentions. 

M: Jo, what’s up, what’s up? inquiring minds want to know!

<😂 > Mary, I can’t believe anyone’s that interested, it’s gonna fall very flat. But right. I started off as just doing—like you sometimes do—um, just going to take a month off and have a break. 

It just becomes so time-consuming! And largely, because I’m such a terrible people-pleaser, I’m worried about what people think if I wasn’t replying to their messages or going on to people’s posts and commenting on everyone else and liking everyone else.

I found my screen time going up to 6–7 hours a day!😳

I know some people do this for a living, but if it’s not, that is not a way to live. It’s one thing in lockdown, but in everyday life? And having taken a break, I found it very liberating.

I started off just trying to make people smile. You know, give them a laugh. Then of course, you have to try and be funnier and funnier and funnier—and I’m just not that funny.

M: Not true! You’re very witty!

So the pressure…the pressure with what you’re putting out there, yeah! And it was just things I was doing in my every day. I would do the same things the following week. But you can’t write about it twice. And there’s only so many stupid things you can do in a week….

M: <😜>You did set the bar high! But there’s plenty of others you encounter to provide you with that relatable fodder, no?

<😅> Well yeah, there is! But also there’s that sort of tragic thinking: you notice how many people are laughing. You’d get people saying ‘that’s the funniest one yet!’ Then other times, you’d be down by 20-30% on comments, at which point I’d be going, ‘Oh, was it not that good?‘ And then I thought to myself, ‘I don’t know any of these people. Why do I mind so much what they think?’ I mean obviously, I had some sort of regulars. <pauses> I don’t really like that term ’cause it makes me sound like some sort of sex worker <🤣 >

M: 😳 Jo, please, we’re not your Only Fans—don’t start charging us to see your feet! 

<😝😝😝>

And then, you know, I care what they think. But most of the people…and I don’t mean this disrespectfully…you only ever engage with them over Instagram. Most of them are all over the world. So unless you started a dialogue with them, your only interaction is, ‘great posts this week’ or ‘that’s really interesting’. So to have your whole day based on whether that person found you funny? I thought to myself, there’s something very wrong with this… <🤔>>

The shiny allure of social media starts to tarnish a bit when you’re primarily hanging in the real world…

How The Show Began 🎪

instagram

To be clear, Jo is naturally drawn to the whimsical.

She considers it to be an essential part of her life. Just look at the two tiny ceramic trapeze artists suspended from her kitchen ceiling! ⬆️ 

M: So how did Midlife Highway begin?

I’m permanently taking up a new hobby! I did a nutrition course and I thought I wanted to do an Instagram thing on nutrition, very naïve, because of course I didn’t really know enough. It was supposed to lead on to potentially advising people and helping people locally. But then it just sort of morphed into something else, the Midlife Highway: ‘So this is what I’ve kind of been doing this week and this is what annoyed me’.

But that wasn’t even my intention actually. I had no plan. And suddenly I had this thing that was never gonna make me any money. Just taking up all my time and sort of rather unhealthy in my desire for people to think I’m funny. You know, that validation thing. I’m looking for validation from people I don’t even know.

M: Yet I imagine you have a wide circle of IRL friends though, right?

I do, yeah. And actually, that was the other thing that was so odd. When I started the Midlife Highway thing, I didn’t tell any of my friends. You know what it’s like, Mary—you have all your friends you have a particular relationship with. In some relationships, you’re the strong one. In some, you’re the meek one, in some you’re the funny one. So I felt like everyone saw me in a certain light.

And the Midlife Highway was very freeing ‘cuz it was like, this is me. I am clumsy, I am dozy, I’m disorganized and everything else like that. And I felt I could write much more freely without any of my friends, you know, chipping in or saying, ‘that doesn’t sound like you’, or ‘that’s not the you I know’. Then actually, when they did start to find me, they all enjoyed it, too. It was silly of me to think, ‘I don’t want anyone to know I’m doing this’.

M: So it was fun until the time commitment became intolerable. 

Yeah. But I also have a very, very short attention span. I started off doing marketing when I left university. I’ve also trained as a personal trainer. I used to make trays with wedding invitations and photos and stuff in lading glass. I’ve trained as a florist. I mean, I can’t stick with anything! <😶🙄😬>

M: Wow! Lots of very different plates spinning in the air! 

My mother has a…needless to say…like all mothers, she has a theory. And that was that I did a career that I really couldn’t go back to. I stopped working when my second child was a year old. All my salary was paying the childcare so…<🤷🏻‍♀️>

M: A lot of women can relate to that!

Actually I wrote a post about this way back, which was, ‘where has my career gone?’ You know my mother said we actually gave things up when we had our children. If you gave up work, you were giving up a career. I mean, she gave up work when she thought my father might ask her to marry him! <😅> But yeah we have careers so giving it up is really quite a big deal.

M: Would you do it differently now, if you could do it all over again? 

No. I don’t regret giving up work. Maybe with perfect hindsight, do a career you can go back to is a useful thing. But I feel I was very present in my children’s lives. I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I was working full-time.

The age-old conflict of trying to do everything…sigh! Let’s shift gears and lighten up ⬇️

This or That

It's Game Time!

Here is what I heard when I asked Jo which of two things she favored …this 👍🏼 or that 👎🏼… 

Thoughts can take me down a deep and twisty rabbit hole at times so I decided to follow my feelings instead. What’s the worst that can happen? 

I passed with popping on sensible paisley pajamas; instead, I stylishly boarded the train in my finest chiffon nightgown.

As we chugged out of the station, I proceeded to regale the passengers with a recounting of my favorite True Crime stories. Those Hallmark heartthrob movies set my teeth on edge. 

During intermission, I strolled to the lounge car and selected the finest fruits (oh, happy days: persimmons and plums!) for my midday snack. Sensible, stodgy vegetables got a hard pass on this jolly day off.

Curiously, all my fellow passengers were loudly snoring when I returned. My lecture was over—sigh! In went my ear buds and I settled down for a podcast listen. Unless it’s Mary V’s blog, my eyes are ever drawn to the scenery around me. But gradually, they closed and I dozed. 

When the train braked hard for the next stop, I awoke to something cold and moist nudging my hand. Horrors! Is it a cat?? Phew— it’s just the nose of my seat mate’s dog, gently reminding me it’s time to wake up.

As I rise and exit for my guilty pleasure day at the shops (shhh, don’t tell the Mister) I can’t help but wonder: how would Freud interpret this mishmash of a dream …would it get his goat? 🧐

I was all on board until she later recalled giving the double 👎🏼 to bacon! I mean, you think you know someone … and then …. 🙃

instagram

What Do You Do?

So how has Jo been spending her IG break? 

Before I get into that, Jo shared a final, astute observation about how people tend to engage with one another.

I began to feel on Instagram (and I think I wrote another post about this), why do we all feel like we have to have some trailblazing career? When we get into our 50s, can we, taking aside the financial aspect of it which is different for everybody…can’t you just sit down next to somebody and when they ask what you do, say ‘Nothing. I’m a housewife.’

M: <nodding vigorously> Why does it even have to be the first question though, you know? I mean, it puts us in a box that we are our career!

Yeah, exactly! And they really ask it so you’ll ask them what they do. Then they can go on about that <😜>

M: What do you say now when people ask you?

Well, I say I do a whole load of different things. Just gloss over it.

But now I ask people, my first question to somebody I haven’t met before is, ‘what are you reading?’ That’s my new one. 

M: Ah, that’s a good one. I like that!

I think I just keep trying to fill the void. And actually, funny enough, the Midlife Highway thing is as close to sticking to anything as I’ve ever become.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.

Jo is busy with a mixture of activities, both new and old:

  • handcrafting jewelry
  • creating one-of-a-kind tabletop terrariums
  • occasionally selling said stuff at local fairs

She’s still heading out on extended pilgrimages along the famed Camino de Santiago. Jo has walked a few different routes and has more on the calendar for 2023.

But above all, it’s always family first. Official empty nesters with the graduation of their youngest this year, Jo and her husband still enjoy travels with their three adult children. The annual laid-back summer vacation in Cornwall continues to be a much beloved family tradition.

And for the record, her IRL friends consider her the Funny One Bossy One! 😈

The wrap with Mary V

The Wrap On IG Musings With Jo

🥁 Lastly, the burning question: will her @midlifehighway Instagram account resume anytime soon?? 🥁

Initially, I encouraged her to come back. Found myself offering tips for how to see only what she wants, how to make peace with what she has capacity for time-wise, etc.

But then—I stopped. It’s not my place to tell someone else what to do. In fact, I strive to offer advice only when asked. And she wasn’t asking. So I listened, instead.

I think the fundamental thing is I just want to be my authentic self. And that’s what I wanted to do on Instagram. And then I came off it because I felt I was no longer being myself. I was having to say what I thought other people wanted me to say or what was going to appeal to people. And also saying things for effect as much as anything else.

That isn’t what I wanted to do. And when I find myself being pulled in a different direction, I think that’s when I just felt I needed a break.

To be clear, Jo has a private Instagram account where she sporadically drops a post about her real life activities and loves. That may very well be the only way she chooses to share going forward. 

Although I miss her pithy “getting my goat” 🐐 observations, I respect that she is getting all the validation she needs In Real Life. Yet just like anything else, that could change, too…stay tuned!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

✨Remember who you are! Honor what satisfies your soul!✨

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

credit: -some images were sourced from Jo’s IG snaps and stylized by me-

Prior #WomenOver50 Stories

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Organizing: Proven Concepts For A Little Home Sweet Home

Leave a Comment / Coffee Break Stories, Midlife, Midlife Story, Midlife woman, Midlife women, Organizing, Over50, Pro-Ageing / By

Homemaking: enriching art,  or unending drudgery?

If you ask Rebecca Phillips of RYouReadyToOrganize, it can definitely be the former. Because like anything else, our perception informs our attitude.

So she’s all about easy, steady steps to transform your home into the haven you deserve. Which means she goes beyond organizing: she also shares her passion for indoor/outdoor gardening and simple recipes (especially baking 🍞) to nurture our bodies and our spirits. 

Today’s #CoffeeBreakStory continues my series about Everyday Women Over 50 living contently on their own terms, regardless of the latest societal trend. Because after years of fulfilling others’ expectations and needs, now is our time to go deep with stuff that personally lights us up! ✨

RYouReady to meet a new friend? Grab your coffee ☕️ —let’s go!

housewife or homemaker

What's In A Name?

Let’s just admit that the term “housewife” gets a cringe these days. While it was socially acceptable 50-some years ago, it’s been replaced with Soccer Mom ⚽️ and, later on, Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM). Anything to justify and even dignify tending to the house. Though someone’s gotta do it sometime, no?

Even “homemaker” sounds quaint or old-fashioned to some. And women of a certain age (like me) remember the “domestic goddess” moniker! It was supposed to elevate the essential yet unpaid role. Somehow, it felt a little silly…and it continued to be an unpaid job! 🤷🏻‍♀️

For Rebecca, though, it’s all semantics. Certainly, she’s sensitive to people’s preferences. But in her view, creating and maintaining a home sanctuary is a timeless, worthwhile endeavor.

And she has no issue with calling herself a professional homemaker. 

I think that what I do is quite different from most organizers. What I do is all of homemaking. It’s not just organizing. So whatever you see as a homemaker for you…whatever your vision is? That’s what you should do! Your home is your castle. What kind of homemaker do you wanna be? (chuckles) I really don’t care…you decide what you want to do!

Now before you erroneously assumes my friend is the new June Cleaver, know that she earned her master’s in social work and administration. For many years, Rebecca was knee-deep with writing grants, assembling contracts, and guiding small businesses with organizing their paperwork. All of which formed a solid foundation when she decided to exit the corporate world and work from, on, and in her home. 

When she met and married the love her life at age 39, Rebecca willingly relocated across state lines and began creating a new life chapter. Fast forward 20+ years later, she has transformed her stay-at-home hobbies into a small business that promotes the beautiful art of homemaking. It’s a part-time endeavor that brings her full-time pleasure—plus some rainy day funds! 

RYouReadyToOrganize also serves as the platform for her to continue what she does best: encouraging and helping others create a happy place in their homes. 

My favorite is one-on-one: getting them to streamline or let go of things—you know, a lot of stuff that doesn’t serve them well and is weighing them down. It’s great!

And it all revolves around a little organization.

organizing goals

The Allure of Organized Stuff

Who doesn’t gravitate towards all the pretty pictures of uniform shelves, drawers, and closets pristinely and precisely organized by color, product, season? I’m no different. 😍 Home goals, amiright?

Yet how realistic is it to expect a well-loved, lived-in home to always look this way? Who cares to constantly be picking up, wiping down, and putting things back just so? Endlessly accordian-folding our panties (!) per Marie Kondo specifications? 🙄

Granted, a certain amount of maintenance is mandatory to fend off chaos. But Rebecca deliberately chooses to focus on what makes unique sense for each of her clients. She figures out what matters most to them, with what they own already.

Which means purchasing all new organizational systems is not always the answer.

Most organizers I know create a Better Home & Gardens room, take a picture of it, and say, “Isn’t this perfect?” (laughs) I don’t want that! Who’s gonna do that? It’s really a letdown. Many people have told me, they see those pictures and they’re beautiful, but it’s not gonna happen in their homes. They just wanna take their stuff and maybe add to it, or maybe repurpose it. So I’m not about perfectionism … I’m not about magazine covers.

For picture-perfect fantasy rooms? Check in with Martha Stewart or The Home Edit ladies!

For simple yet real-world home tips? Rebecca is our gal! ✅ 

Either Or

Introducing: Either/Or

And now, time for a game of “Either/Or” —a rapid-fire fun Q&A to find out what you and Rebecca have in common!

M: All right, I want to ask you a series of “either/or” choices and this is fast. No overthinking!

R: (gasp) Oh, drink!

M: (chuckles) Yes, chug that coffee! 

R: OK, it’s actually bone broth. 😇  (sips)… Ready!

M: Cook or Clean?

R: Cook 👩‍🍳

M: Cats or Dogs?

R: Dogs 🐶

M: Decorate or Garden?

R: Garden 🌱

M: Organize or Declutter?

R: Declutter. 🗑 (pauses) Believe it or not! Organizing is harder than decluttering.

M: IG or FB?

R: IG 🌅

M: Hawaiian Pizza or Fish Tacos?

R: Fish Tacos, yum! 🌮

M: Wine or Beer?

R: Wine!! 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

M: OK, game over. Rebecca? Sweetheart?? Put the wine down now… 🤭

R:  Oh—Okely-dokely! (Hic!) 😵 

Note to self:  feature less spirited options in the beverage question…

The Wrap on Organizing Concepts With Rebecca

organizing with Rebecca

Rebecca and I connected on IG over our mutual love for living with only the things that we truly need, use or love.

In a frothy social media sea of selfies and style, she is a heart-warming, down-to-earth soul. What you see is what you get. And what you’ll get is kindness and a knack for making your home comfortable and cozy.

When her husband retires next Spring, a move will be in their future. After a little decluttering of her own (’cause that’s life), packing, and settling into a new home, then what?

She foresees a lot of golfing, birding, and fishing in her future small town. Sounds like a woman who knows what paradise looks like in her next chapter! ✨

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pick up those proven organizing, gardening, and cooking tips when you head over to Rebecca’s sites:

I am genuinely impressed with how she has identified her Happy Path and is living her dream, whether it’s in vogue or not. That’s my kinda style!

*Images of Rebecca were sourced from her website/IG and stylized by Mary 

Midlife Stories

Prior Midlife Stories

Your Turn!

My hope is that sharing these Everyday Women’s stories will inspire you to shift with courage into what brings you joy!

  • How’s your #Over50 chapter going?
  • What’s new with you?

Click here ⬇️ to drop me a line…and thanks for stopping by! 🤗

maryv@shiftyourstories.com

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new season

Clearing Space For A New Season

Leave a Comment / Authenticity, benefits of decluttering, Change, Clarity, closet clearing, Clutter, Decluttering, decluttering tips, Lifestyle, Midlife, Midlife woman, Midlife women, wardrobe clearing / By

The last quarter of the year can be an ideal time to make room in your closet for something different. Unless you live where the weather rarely changes, a new season usually heralds clearing space to accommodate changing temperatures.

Yet regardless of your particular climate, periodically clearing space in your wardrobe for what truly supports your lifestyle—especially as it evolves—will serve you well.

Now I’m not suggesting a full-on, pull-everything-out-and-dump-on-your-bed activity. Even I feel exhausted with the thought of that! 😜

However, consider taking 5-10 minutes daily to pull out anything that is an obvious “let-it-go” item, i.e., stained, torn, ill-fitting, or simply never-worn clothing. You know the ones! Bag ’em up and let ’em go!

Starting with these small, steady tweaks will reap big benefits. After all, it’s too easy to stash and store far more than what is actually needed or used. And who remembers to exercise the one-in-one-out rule every time, when there’s room for one more? (not me! 😬)

In fact, as we buy new things, the stuff we rarely wear gets pushed to the back. It can be difficult to see what’s in there. Ever come across something hidden and say, “Oh, wow, I forgot I had this!” And then struggle to let it go? (also me! 🙄) 

Then, when it gets difficult and you’re slowing down with letting go decisions, pivot to choosing what you want to keep. Lastly, figure out what you will add in for your new season. 

Today I’m sharing 3 questions I ask myself as I decide what deserves space in my closet.  

Got your pumpkin spice latte in hand? ☕️  Let’s go!

clearing space
image by pavel danilyuk from pexels

#1: How Do I Spend My Time?

This is my opening question before I even set foot in my closet. Why? Because a supportive wardrobe is one reflecting how I actually spend my time. Once I exited the corporate world, I needed to flip the clothing ratio from less formal to more laidback.

And let me tell you, it’s HOT 😳 from May through September in my part of the world! Yes, I knew this when I relocated to Phoenix, but it didn’t fully register when my weekdays called for business attire inside an air conditioned office. (Still, hardly anyone wears hose here because of that relentless heat 🔥)

Travels near and far have amped up and socializing continues. So I still have clothing for different situations…dressy, casual, warm and cool temps.  However, the quantities of each category have changed because how I spend my time has shifted.

Acknowledging what clothing makes sense now is essential for knowing what to keep and what to buy—in all the right quantities!

clearing space
image by anastasia shuraeva from pexels

#2: What Styles And Colors Do I Favor?

Here’s a novel way to sort through your closet: start by segregating what you love and reach for the most.

When it comes to clearing out your closet, everyone agrees there’s stuff that oughta go. But the second thing that crosses our minds? The weight and work of executing those choices! 😣 After all, there is a reason for why each and every thing is in your wardrobe right now. Still, the reasons are not equally important or valid. So sift through mindfully.

Yet when purging stuff gets hard, stop and switch to easy! Now focus on your Keepers. A rolling rack is ideal for hanging all your faithful clothing companions. (It also comes in handy when preparing for an upcoming event or  trip ✈️ ) Now you can clearly see what you wear the most. Go with your first instincts and don’t overthink things.

Then step back and look for the common thread with your besties. My guess is that these are the items that feel the most comfortable, they’re the ones most suited to the majority of your activities, and the color or cut truly looks the best for your body type and taste.

There’s nothing wrong with sticking to a particular color palette, fabric, or style! When you’re drawn to certain items that you love and they love you back, why deviate? No one is going to think you’re wearing the same thing over and over. On the contrary, their impression will be that you always look good—really!

What you’re doing here is identifying a personal capsule wardrobe that will never let you down. 

shop smarter
image by andrea piacquadio from pexels

#3: What should I buy in a new season?

Lastly, think about what you’ve struggled to release while clearing space. I’m specifically referring to the “second stringers”, or items that are in perfectly good condition yet you’ve rarely worn them. Why is that? 🤔

These are often the items that were touted as the current It style. They  looked fab on the lanky model. They were the latest new hue. All the stores stocked a variation of them. And once we peeked at them online, ads followed us everywhere, urging us to buy them.

So why did they not get out closet much? Well for me, they didn’t end up flattering my body type, they weren’t my go-to power colors, or I just didn’t have enough occasions (or the right events) to wear them! 🤯

This is a huge revelation, for a few important reasons:

Firstly, I have since learned to pay attention to what looks good on shorter models or celebrities with a more athletic build like me. What drapes elegantly on a 6-foot willowy model does not necessarily flatter for me. 

Secondly, everything I admire is not practical for me to acquire. I adore sheath dresses, silk blouses, and high heels. But the opportunities to wear them are far and few between. I have a discreet number of these in my closet and I’ve drawn the line at buying more. Only window shopping allowed! 😍 (bonus: my bank account says thank you!)

And thirdly, I want to break the twitch with buying new things solely because I’m told what to wear each season. Who want to see themselves coming and going because we’re all wearing a variation of the same thing? Why must last season’s It items stop looking good simply because the fashion gurus say something different is better?

For me, a true sense of style develops when someone is aware of what best suits their taste and lifestyle and they happily and unashamedly stick with that.

clearing space

The Wrap On Clearing Space

Our lifestyle and taste changes over time so why not ensure our wardrobe reflects where we’re at now?

Wouldn’t it be fantastic to know that everything in your closet fits, flatters, and feels good? (the 3 “F’s” = my guiding mantra 🌟)

It would be like possessing a magic portal to a place filled with items we love and love us back, in all the right quantities. Our entire clothing collection would actually get a spin out on the town.

Well, perfection is not  possible so relax. But we can elevate what’s in there when we are willing to regularly evaluate the contents. Make the smart decisions about what makes sense to keep, to release, and–going forward–what we should buy less of (I know, that last one is critical—sigh! 👠👠)

No one has infinite storage space and even those with super-sized closets benefit from culling out what no longer matters. Why cling to non-performers, amiright? 🤗

If you enjoyed this post, I think you’ll find value in this one, which goes even deeper with clearing space for a new you!

And do check out these stellar Tedx Talks:

🎧 You Can Be A Minimalist. Yes, You!

🎧  Change Your Closet, Change Your Life!

🎧 The Link Between Personal Style & Identity

—And thanks for stopping by!

personal health

Better Personal Health Journeys with Carolyn’s Community

6 Comments / Ageing, Change, Clarity, Good Habits, Lifestyle, Midlife Story, Midlife woman, Midlife women, Pro-Ageing, Women's Health / By

Feeling our best matters, especially as we enter our 50s and beyond. Who doesn’t want to continue living a vital life? Which is why managing our personal health is super essential.

Yet how long was your last convo with your primary physician? If it was over 30 minutes, you’re lucky—the average PCP exam in the USA is less than 20 minutes!

Did you leave with a new diagnosis or health alert, armed only with general instructions? Or a new Rx (or two) for managing your medical status quo? Again, you’re not alone! Were you satisfied? Fully informed?

This is not intended as a condemnation of the medical community. Medicine has morphed into big business. Doctors and nurses are equally frustrated with the charting and coding activities that monopolize and divert from patient time. And the growing emphasis on monetizing a fractured health care system has led to abbreviated appointments and a lack of adequate patient education. 

So now enter my friend, Carolyn: She and thousands of other certified health coaches are filling the growing gap between the medical community and the patients they serve.

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ALERT:  Carolyn and I are not doctors or mental healthcare professionals of any kind. All medical statements by either Carolyn or myself in this post are for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

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Midlife Stories

Carolyn is the fourth in my monthly Midlife Stories series, which introduces Everyday Women Over 50 pursuing a life chapter that brings fulfillment and joy.

These are unfiltered accounts of women living life on their own terms. They’re doing what they are curious or passionate about— not what social media or anyone else tells them they should be doing! Isn’t that what we all want to achieve?

I have links below to the prior posts for this series if you’re just joining us now. But meanwhile, sit back and hear all about my friend, Carolyn, a savvy health coach and emerging personal health community builder!

How Personal Health Issues Led To Health Coaching

Carolyn’s mom actually played a pivotal role in her quest for nutritional well being. Growing up, there was no hint of processed food in the house. While Carolyn laughingly labels her mom as “a health nut ahead of her time”, there was good reason: a history of heart attacks for the 50-year old males  on her dad’s side!

While she looked longingly at the Ding Dong cakes or other sugary treats in her classmates’ lunch boxes, she had to make do with a small bag of raisins (yeah, that got tossed!). Then Carolyn broke free of the restricted food environment when she attended summer camp. She was in (temporary) nirvana, filling up on Wonder bread and margarine.

But when her folks showed up for Parents Day, they had to bring her new clothes, one size larger—whoops! Yet that didn’t alter her subsequent resolve to follow a more relaxed eating regimen once she left the nest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Personal Health Issues Cropping Up

Fast forward to life in the Boston suburbs with her husband and growing family. After an initial career in marketing and advertising, Carolyn chose to be a stay-at-home Mom. The complexity of juggling the busy schedules of four active young girls in combination with an outside career was too daunting, especially since her husband traveled abroad extensively for his own career. However, she nails what being a SAHM really means: 

“Unpaid, equally stressed and busy, in order to spend more time with my own kids!”

In other words, she wore many hats for many years, volunteering on numerous school committees and community boards, plus chauffeuring to  and organizing various extracurricular activities and field trips. It was during this time that Carolyn developed IBS symptoms, which she is convinced were stress-induced. Lifestyle and diet are also classic major contributors.

And then her children started to exhibit allergies and ADHD. In fact, nationally, there were more and more reports about the rise of allergies, asthma and a new diagnosis of autism.

The more she read, the more she became convinced that she had gone overboard with allowing junk and processed food in her pantry. Mom was right! (side note: Carolyn’s dad is now in his 80s—more proof about the impact of good nutrition.) So yes, it was time for a change!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Searching for Personal Health Resources

Happily, Carolyn was able to get her IBS symptoms under control. Thanks to her newfound passion for eating right, she had already done extensive research on ways to mitigate IBS symptoms on her own.

Next, she consulted with a well-known physician, who concurred with her conclusion. He handed her a stack of prescriptions and a $5.00 refill coupon. 

 Yet rather than immediately relying on drugs, Carolyn wanted to start with incorporating some small yet powerful everyday dietary and meditation habits first.

But when she shared her desire with the doctor to postpone the drug regimen, his immediate response was, “If you don’t take these, then we’re not working together!” 

Time to get a second opinion— and so she did! Fortunately, the next physician was amenable to a “wait and see” stance. Carolyn was prepared to take the prescriptions if her lifestyle changes were insufficient. As it turns out, her IBS side effects were effectively wrangled, woohoo!

This experience was evidence of a belief that Carolyn fully embraces: we can exert a certain amount of control over our own personal health by mindfully tweaking our lifestyle choices. 

“Genetics loads the gun; environment pulls the trigger” —Francis Collins, M.D., Director of NIH

And so yes, because of this experience…a lack of medical resources (time, attention and information) for her as an individual patient…she shifted into a new life chapter. Health Coach Carolyn was born!

body acceptance

Carolyn's Coaching Philosophy

Once she earned her first Health Coach certification in 2010, Carolyn was on her way to creating her own unique method for helping others with their personal health journeys.

She attended numerous lectures and logged in hours (and hours) of research. Her Masters in Psychology combined with additional intensive courses on functional medicine has resulted in a very positive, client-centric approach.

As she puts it,

“I don’t tell people what to do. I listen. I look for their strengths in order to learn how those can be applied to their health concerns. I’m by their side, encouraging them with making small steps.”

In other words, she has no preconceived remedy or path for new clients. For Carolyn, it starts with being a companion. And that’s what she does in personalized, one-on-one sessions. Some of her clients are referred from a local physician, who readily acknowledges the gap she fills.

Then, as a way to spread the word about the unique role that health coaches play, she launched a podcast in 2020. Carolyn was completely new to the whole podcasting platform, but she dug in anyway!

Wellness While Walking Podcast

Each episode focuses on sharing 30 minutes of encouragement and education while her listeners are exercising (walking). What a brilliant concept! And she has the perfectly modulated voice to deliver a quality listening experience (my unbiased opinion, hehe!) She also includes a variety of guests.

Shameless plug: Be sure to check out episode 94, Swedish Death Clearing With Mary V.

While her daughters mostly thought of her as “Mom”, they did take notice of her coaching commitment. Carolyn overheard one them saying to a friend, “You can try new things, even if they are hard at first. My mom started a podcast at 57!”

Her topics cover a broad array, from organizing your home (lowers stress), mindset, and meal prep, to breaking the twitch with alcohol, productivity, and purpose.

When you think about a lifestyle approach for better personal health, there are all kinds of things we can do to feel and be better. And it all starts with taking small steps.

personal health steps

Her Vision For A Personal Health Community

Like the rest of us, the recent pandemic stay-home period was a wake up call for Carolyn, the Health Coach. When “meh” was sarcastically voted the word of the year in 2021, it epitomized our spirit, languishing in separation from others. With that, she knew creating a community for helping improve personal health was an essential undertaking.

So this is exactly her latest wellness endeavor, which is currently a work-in-process. I don’t want to give away too many details ahead of the launch but it will be another ingenious mashup of online group meet-ups and one-on-one coaching sessions. 

Designed with a lifestyle-driven concept, her community will welcome all age groups because issue like getting rid of household toxins, reducing inflammation, or getting better quality sleep are universal topics.

Carolyn is convinced that  strength and support can and should be found in community. The rampant fragmentation we are all witnessing in the world today makes her wince.

In her own way, as a compassionate health coach, Carolyn strives to bring people together for better wellness. I, for one, have faith in her…and I think when you meet her, you will, too!

midlife stories

The Wrap on Personal Health with Carolyn

Together, we are better!

This truly summarizes Carolyn health coaching philosophy. And little steps go a long way for improving our personal health and well being. 

As a self-described “card-carrying realistic optimist”, who better to have by your side, cheering you on!

And you’ll never be alone, when you’re part of Carolyn’s Community. As she envisions it, 

“I will be the maestro of this orchestra. Each member has their own instrument to play. Together, we will create beautiful music!”

In her “spare” time, Carolyn loves word games, dance class, funny talking IG dogs, and time with her family.

Where to find Carolyn?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Where to meet the other Women Over 50 featured in this series:

♥ Got thoughts about what you read here? Drop a line below … And thanks for stopping by!

(Note: images of Carolyn and her IG posts were created by her & stylized by this author)

coffee break stories

Two-fer You: Dishing Up 2 Shortie Coffee Break Stories

16 Comments / Change, Clarity, Midlife, Midlife woman, Midlife women, Mind, Body, & Spirit, Mindset / By

Introducing weekly coffee break stories!

I’m kicking off a new writing form which I’m calling coffee break stories. Each is less than a 3 minute read—perfect when you’re sipping a cup of coffee.

The content can be anything at all, but the length is similar to “short form”, which is typically 150 words or less. I’m a tad casual with this, so sometimes stretching to 175-ish or so. (My forum, my choice, hehe!)

In fact, today is a bonus, or “two-fer”: two short stories I recently published on a different platform called Medium. I hope you find value in these little snippets of personal observations. They’re snack-sized musings to inspire, support, amuse or connect us in spirit.

But before you dive into today’s double shot coffee break stories…

What is Medium?

This social platform is for anyone who wants to write and everyone who wants to read. Over 175,000 writers publish stories about everything under the sun. And it’s estimated there are well over 60 million readers for said stories.

You can read 3 stories for free each month or sign up at a mere $5.00/month to receive unlimited access using my link over here.

Initially, I was hesitant to jump on yet one more social platform. I abandoned Clubhouse, I’m mostly a random lurker on FB (gotta grab the latest memes there!) and I sporadically post on IG. But I couldn’t resist the opportunity to participate in a community that’s focused on writing and reading—two of my favorite activities!

Once you have achieved 100 followers, you can be paid for your writing in Medium’s Partner Program, based solely on the time people spend reading your words. So I thought, why not?!

Then I quickly realized there’s an algorithm at play (of course!) that determines who sees your stories. Which is why so many writers create “reciprocal-reading” pods to boost each others’ earnings. It’s not unlike IG’s follow-for-follows/like-for-likes groups, which I find problematic … what if you don’t like someone else’s stuff? Sigh! So I haven’t done that.

You can have hundreds or thousands of followers. But if they don’t take the time to read your articles, your work could go largely unnoticed—and unpaid. If the platform editors find you and like your writing, they can disseminate your work. And then if your article goes viral, the dollars can roll in. Lotta “ifs” there!

The top writers reportedly make $25,000/month! But we’re talking about a rarified few. The majority of paid writers realize less than $100/month and some stories make less than a dollar. Obviously, talent and writing about popular topics matter. But beyond that, it takes a lot ( and I mean a LOT) of reading and writing. Best not to quit your day job. Unless you have the time.

So why did I join?

It’s become a great place for me to experiment with different writing styles. Like short form, poetry, or essays. And I’m exposed to so many other writers! Some good, some not-so-good. It gives me a sense of what’s being shared in the writing world and where I find myself fitting in.

Also, about that monetary payout: it’s humbling to labor over an article … searching for the perfect image … pulling my thoughts out of my head … capturing them on paper … polishing my words until I tell my Inner Perfectionist to stop! And then getting only a dollar or two for those hours— double sigh!

But that’s the dirty underside of the writing world. “Best selling author” status? This refers to who gets disseminated the best—not necessarily who writes the best! Not all gifted artists are gifted with selling.

One can write soul-stifling manuals for a corporation. Or clever, SEO-loving content for publications. Or from-the-heart ideas and musings for personal pleasure. The pay range is vast and is determined by demand.

Ultimately, you simply need to work the writing venn diagram to find your own sweet spot for why you write and what you expect (or need) in return. 

Me? I’m writing because I can’t not write. When I’m in alignment with my higher self, inspiration comes. And then the words follow. Truthfully, I’m often taken aback at the direction my writing takes but I’ve learned not to question my muse.

Now on to the two coffee break stories for your weekend pleasure, while sipping on your beverage of choice. Enjoy!

Coffee Break Stories #1

coffee break stories

Attack of the 50-Foot Woman!

Coffee Break Stories #2

Don’t Forget To Applaud Every Step Of Your Journey

It’s about more than just the arrival

As much as we admire a lush bouquet, the real beauty is found in the transition from bud to bloom. Just look how far this flower has evolved!

There’s tremendous inspiration with witnessing the process, not just acknowledging the end result, no?

“Everything is hard before it’s easy” —Goethe J.W.

Not unlike the work of growing outside our comfort zone. It’s quite impressive when you reflect on your determined endeavors to flourish.

Start your own evolution with steady steps. There will be effort required to push through some dirt and rocks, no doubt about it.

But you can do it … I believe in you!

Do you?

The Wrap On Coffee Break Stories

Who doesn’t have an overflowing in-box? Lots of intel coming our way, all the time. Yet finding the time—so challenging!

None of my Medium stories (so far) have exceeded 5 minutes. If you’re curious for more, circle back to this Medium story which I reposted here.

Let me know your thoughts about receiving little weekend nuggets to accompany your coffee … and thanks for stopping by!

Pro-Ageing

Pro-ageing Personified: Stylin’ A Joyful Life With Mimi K

8 Comments / Ageing, Change, Clarity, Midlife, Midlife Story, midlife style, Midlife woman, Midlife women, Mind, Body, & Spirit, Mindset, Pro-Ageing / By

“I feel like I’ve lived three lifetimes, jam-packed to the max!”—Mimi K

And at this rate, you can be sure she’s in the thick of crafting her fourth! Meet my friend, Mimi Krohne— a Pro-Ageing Ninja!

Mimi is the third in my Midlife Stories series, which features everyday Women Over 50 pursuing a life chapter that brings them joy.

These are unfiltered accounts of women living life on their own terms. They’re doing what they consider to be right for themselves— not what social media or anyone else tells them they should do. Isn’t that what we all want to achieve?

I have links below to the prior posts for this series if you’re just joining us now. But meanwhile, sit back and hear all about my friend, Mimi, who is the most delightful and effervescent pro-ageing 72 year old I know! 

(By the way, bonus points for identifying the band for each of the three songs disguised as section titles below….drop your answers in the post comments.)

pro-ageing

"Girls Just Want To Have Fun"

Mimi is part of an exclusive demographic group on IG: users 65 and over who are just 2.1% of all IG users! Millennials and Gen Zs comprise the majority of IG’s audience.  

So what prompted her to join 4 years ago? She’s a classic extrovert: when she doesn’t have something going on with someone else, she ain’t happy. The term, FOMO, came to mind while we chatted last week—and then she herself confessed that’s one of her driving forces! Having too much time on her hands makes her restless. Such a Doer, this one.

Yet when the pandemic reared up in 2020, Mimi reacted with an abundance of caution. She retired from a long and successful career as a hair stylist in the Orlando, FL area. Then she stepped back from her church’s social activities, as well. It wasn’t a planned change, yet it was time for a change. Time for different energy.

That’s when IG became her new community. As she sees it, it was truly her savior. 

IG reaches across the world and connects likeminded people who are compatible for me. It’s the new pen pal and that is golden!

Mimi’s joyous demeanor makes chatting with her effortless. Laughter is one of the love languages she speaks fluently. She also punctuates her posts and DMs with emojis. One can’t help but relax and smile in her presence, no matter what concerns might be swirling inside. She just radiates happy!

And while she believes herself to be wantonly niche-less on the ‘gram, (I’m an old hippie at heart) Mimi tends to feature the following topics:

  • fashion (former model married to a former photographer)
  • yoga and tai chi (focused on staying limber)
  • books (delves into a myriad of topics that make you think)
  • lipstick (bold red, please!)

But wait, there’s more!

over 70 and rocking it

"Born This Way"

Now you may be thinking Mimi rarely sits still. But it all depends if she’s nourishing her body or her mind. She’s a voracious life-long learner, taking advantage of free online courses. One day, it might be a Harvard class; another day, it’s a YouTube tutorial. Or the Gaia channel.

What doesn’t air in her living room is network TV. 15 years ago, a bet with one of her daughters continues to this day with banning that particular media. It’s all part of her pro-ageing strategy to carefully cultivate what gets the privilege of her focus in her 600 square foot condo.

Yes, you read that right! When Mimi and John got married in 2011, they realized how little space they truly utilized in their large townhouse. She promptly got rid of 98% of her stuff in one month— whoa! —and just like that, they moved into their present sweet abode.

While her friends thought she lost her mind, Mimi said, 

Best decision I ever made! More freedom, less stress! 

She’s definitely not one to brood or agonize over her next steps. If something makes sense, done and next! Which is another pro-ageing characteristic: Mimi is not afraid of change. In her mind, it’s how life works.

Downsizing allowed the two of them to pursue more of their shared and individual passions. In particular, they enjoy exploring the outdoors together, camera in hand. Her Instagram account is chockfull of their little adventures.

pro ageing

"Talkin' Bout My Gen-er-a-tion"

While I am enamored with Mimi’s joie de vivre, I can’t help but wonder if her free wheeling outlook makes her an outlier for her age group. She does not disagree.

Mimi was born at the tail end of the Silent Generation. Her parents endured World War II and the Great Depression so their household like so many others was very traditional. Children of this era were expected to be seen and not heard. To not put themselves first or front and center. 

In her mind, this led to pervasive pettiness and excessive competition. Work hard and be the best—but don’t flaunt it. Mimi wistfully remarks, 

You’d be glad for your friend’s success but you wouldn’t say much about it. Maybe you’d say something behind her back. There was no lifting up of each other like what you’re doing now.

So how did Mimi break rank from that repressive atmosphere? How did she embrace her self-described “inner troublemaker” and put herself out there on the ‘gram? And unapologetically pursue what makes her happy?

It all started with John and I working the typical photography/videography sessions, like weddings. He also did occasional shoots with me posing outdoors, by graffiti. People started saying we should do that on Instagram! I had to work through the emotions. Finally I thought, screw it! If I get to be 85, I can’t afford to base myself on what others think of me.

What’s her friends’ reaction to her social media presence?

I’m sure some think, ‘What the Hell’s she doing? Then down the road, ‘How did she do it?’

And now? What’s her aim on IG?

To give courage to my age group and forgiveness. 

Mimi explains that everyone was caught up in the post-war mindset. Not only was there no such thing as self-care (that’s selfish), but people really lived in a fear-based environment. No one was to rock the boat or break the rules.

I’m truly happy our Little Troublemaker broke out of the mold and freely showcases her dynamic pro-ageing activities—keep it coming, Mimi!

pro age

"Don't Fear The Reaper"

So I had to ask about death. I’m thinking about it a little more, now that I have fewer years ahead than behind. I wondered where Mimi’s mind was at, since she’s further down the road.

She describes the Warrior pose as a metaphor for her 70s: her right leg is bent with her right arm extended forward, reaching for her Future. She is looking backwards over her left arm extended to her Past. Her position is neutral. 

The 70s are a place to make peace with your past. This is the beginning of the ‘Big Wind Up’ as your age group is starting to check out. I suppose people my age don’t fear death but really hope for a dignified exit.

For both Mimi and John, it’s been a beautiful ride on this fabulous planet. And even though her daughters are in their mid 30s, independent and “off and running”, Mimi still feels the tug in her heart to be around as long as possible so she can take care of them and the grandkids. 

Yet interestingly, she has witnessed a sharp divide between how men and women her age approach their mortality. Remember, she was a successful hair stylist for many years.

When you’ve cut someone’s hair for 20 years, you get really personal. And the men tell me they can avoid thinking or dealing with stuff until about 65. Then all the ‘shoulda-coulda’s come to roost when they lay their heads on their pillows at night! Women process more emotionally on their own and with their friends.

And for this Pro-Ager? How is she feeling about “checking out”, as she puts it?

It’s not death that bothers me—but the process is the rub. I know there’s a transition of sorts between life and death, from what my mother and grandmother said they could see on their deathbed. No one else could see what they saw.

But for me, it’s feeling like a veil. A soft, light veil descending.

And then this reminds Mimi of one of her favorite poems. In turn, it confirms how engaged my friend is with living fully in each and every moment—which is my definition of the ultimate pro-ageing attitude.

The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don’t go back to sleep! —Rumi

shift your stories

The Wrap on Pro Ageing with Mimi

Yes, I’m including this image: a shameless plug of Mimi endorsing my book —such a discriminately literate soul, hehe!

But back to Mimi, while she’s still in an introspective mood. What’s her pro-ageing take for living life fully over 50?

Our 50s are a call to action. Time to lay the ego crap down. Target dates for retirement loom.

Our 60s are a really great decade. We can get a lot done, get focused, and calm down. We want to have nutrition, alcohol, drugs and exercise in order by now or it gets worse.

Our 70s, the picture of approaching death becomes crystal clear. I am beginning to see the fruition of bad choices with so many of my friends. Sad.

Yet even those who have taken excellent care of themselves may have their ‘check engine lights’ come on. But so far, so good for me! I am very, very careful with what I digest with my eyes, ears and mouth.

Isn’t Mimi a “walkin’-on-sunshine” soul?!

Your turn!

  • What’s your take on Mimi’s pro-ageing attitude?
  • Who are the 3 bands for the song titles above?
  • Drop your thoughts below … and thanks for stopping by!
Interior Design

Interior Design: Taking Center Stage In A Fab Midlife Pivot

8 Comments / Clarity, Interior Design, Lifestyle, Midlife, Midlife Story, Midlife woman, Midlife women / By

“The best rooms have something to say about the people who live in them” —David Hicks

Meet my friend, Linda Holt, interior design consultant and smart phone photography instructor extraordinaire! Based in Boston, Linda is the second in a new series spotlighting Women Over 50 crafting a midlife chapter that brings them joy.

When your timeline opens up for something different, what will you choose? Social media relentlessly serves up unrealistic images of the “perfect” midlife chapter. Which creates anxiety, stress, and unrealistic pressure for what we “should” do—and guilt when we don’t. Who needs that?!

So the purpose of my series is to share Midlife Stories of real women pursuing a variety of personal interests. These are unfiltered accounts of women living life on their own terms, unapologetically and contentedly.  They’re doing what they consider perfect for them…not what someone else tells them. Isn’t that what we all want to achieve?

By the way, there’s a link at the end if you missed the kickoff post with Katherine, The 5 Kilo Traveller. But for now, settle in for a delightful introduction to Linda who forged her own path with what lights her up: helping people create a fabulous home space that supports their true lifestyle and individual taste. 

about linda holt
"Design is a journey of discovery" —Billy Baldwin

From Marine Biology to Interior Design

How Her Journey Started

Yes, you read that right! Even as a child, Linda loved rearranging her bedroom furniture. Growing up, she eagerly delved into anything to do with decorating a home. Then she’d head outside and use her Kodak Instamatic camera to capture vignettes of her beloved dogs. Interior design school was an ideal choice for her continuing education.

However, her dad had very traditional thoughts. Linda was told to pick one of three “practical” fields: science, business, or education. In his exact words which she remembers to this day, “We’re not sending you to college so you can learn how to pick out pillows for other people.”

Moreover, she had multiple colleges vying for her enrollment. Yet even there, he selected the one he felt offered the best chance for her to marry a rich husband (remember, this was 40+ years ago). Linda was good in science—hence, marine biology.

But 3 years into a lab job, it wasn’t what made her heart sing. She’d need a Master’s degree to advance into a more challenging and lucrative position. And then one day on the commute home, she looked up and saw an advertisement above the bus seat across from her: “You, too, can become a photographer!” Linda believed it was a sign … and so she did!

Shifting Into Photography

The photography school tuition was $11,000 which sounds reasonable in today’s dollars. But in an era when $6/hour was the minimum wage, it took working three years in various part-time positions to pay for full-time classes. 

Fortunately, her patience and determination paid off: Linda enjoyed a 25-year career as a professional photographer. She had her own studio in Boston, specializing in headshots and portfolios for actors and models. Yet even though she found photography rewarding, interior design remained her top passion.

“I spent my weekends wandering through flea markets or antique stores, making window treatments, trying out a new wall color, or painting a dated piece of furniture. My husband and two sons never knew what room was going to get torn apart next.”

It was the real possibility of undergoing spinal surgery due to the toll of lifting and toting heavy photography equipment that signaled the end of this career chapter and the start of the next: her beloved interior design!

interior design
"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are" —Carl Jung

An Award Winning Interior Designer

Linda and I connected on IG in 2019, thanks our mutual love of all things home beautiful. Her photos relay a story that consistently draws your eyes in. And her videos and captions exude calm authority about industry trends. 

So when I interviewed her last week, I was floored to learn that she did not officially open Linda Holt Creative until 2011! When I asked her how she broke into a competitive business, she replied, 

“Baby steps! I joined a business networking group. I teamed up with a realtor from that group and provided home staging for his listings. This led to another realtor asking for my help. And then one of her clients wanted my design services for a new home. From there, my business grew, thanks to word of mouth referrals.”

Moreover, Linda never said no to any invitations to speak at webinars or to consult in small gatherings. So when she was asked to speak live at a Design Influencers Conference, she knew this would be her watershed moment.

How does one prepare to address 350 strangers when you have a “crippling, life-long phobia” for public speaking?

Practice, practice, practice! Linda not only memorized her speech. She also spent countless hours reviewing self-help YT videos and analyzing her own recorded dry runs. Nine months later, she delivered her speech and received a standing ovation! 

In fact, here’s what also happened:

“I can honestly say that talk propelled me to where I am today. I was nervous walking onto stage but I took three deep breaths and delivered my speech. Afterwards, someone came up and asked me to talk at another event. And then another invitation arrived. All of these opportunities snowballed and I can trace it back to this one event. It’s probably the proudest thing I mastered in my life!”

However, Linda has many other accomplishments to be proud of: she has earned a very long list of industry awards and client accolades. Houzz, Architectural Digest, House Beautiful … she’s been recognized by the best!

Yet Linda is not one to relentlessly broadcast her talents. (I actually had to go to her website to discover her industry gold stars!). Self-promotion makes her cringe but as an essential part of a business, she continues to speak about her customer-centric approach: 

“Not only do I save my clients from making costly mistakes, but I empower them to create the homes of their dreams, not mine.”
interior design
"Creativity takes courage" —Henri Matisse

A Slight Pivot In Her Journey

The latest shift with Linda Holt Creative occurred in 2019. While Linda thoroughly enjoyed helping her clients create a home that suits their lifestyle, she became weary of things going wrong in the process that were not her fault. There are many players involved, i.e., furniture manufacturers, installers, construction crew, etc. Yet her deep commitment to her clients’ satisfaction sometimes led to Linda bearing the fallout when other project facets outside her control went South. 

Then she had the idea to refine her business model from full service into a consulting service. It really makes sense when you think about all the inspirational resources homeowners can now access, such as HGTV, Pinterest, and Houzz.

Most people already have a design vision. They are capable of hiring trades and buying products. But what they can really use is someone with the interior design expertise and sourcing connections to bring it all to life. So enter in the ability for the homeowner to obtain professional guidance and recommended resources. Then Linda exits and the homeowner carries on!

Whether virtual or in person, the consulting approach has really resonated with all her clientele. It also worked beautifully for Linda’s peace of mind, particularly when the pandemic hit: supply chain snags were not her problem!

The other shift was a dive into creating smartphone courses for fellow interior designers. After casually and regularly sharing tips for better images, she followed through on their clamor for formal instruction.

While her online courses are geared for her colleagues, you can always catch her “Two Tip Tuesday” live IG videos when you follow her. How impressive that she’s continuing to speak live, when once upon a time, she would’ve blushed if someone in the grocery store stopped her to ask a question!

Linda has clearly come into her own when she pivoted professionally into what sets her creativity on fire. And she did it with her customary hard work, laser focus, and quiet determination. 

"Don't shoot what it looks like, shoot what it feels like!" —David Allen Harvey

The Wrap on an Interior Design Journey

Linda’s own words really capture how she created her Midlife Chapter, when she was a Finalist in Design Hounds 2021 The Change Makers awards:

11 years ago I started my decorating business. For the first few years, I was still shooting headshots a couple days a week because I was too scared…to make a commitment to a totally different career. I lacked self-confidence, felt like a fraud and was embarrassed to tell my friends…I was so worried what everyone would say. It’s taken 10 years of coaching, mindset work, and many ‘life is short’ wakeup calls, but…all my internal struggles and consistent ‘stepping out of my comfort zone’ paid off. If you had told me 11 years ago this [award] would happen, I would have believed it as much as if you told me I would be living on Mars in 2021 or working as a brain surgeon! …To be in the company of the other winners is truly humbling.”

Here’s how to connect with my talented friend, Linda Holt:

I’m certain you’ll enjoy Linda’s warm, welcoming & lighthearted spirit! Be certain to stop and admire her deft interior designs displayed in her website portfolio.

Who knows, perhaps she can pull together your vision for your next renovation or home purchase. And don’t forget: she’s got the smart phone photography tips you can use when sharing your refreshed home space with family and friends!

—image montages were created on Canva, using photos from Linda Holt Creative

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Catch up on the Midlife Stories series which debuted with  Katherine, The 5 Kilo Traveller.

Do you dream of shifting into your own new adventure? Head here for 5 Ways To Harness Your Midlife Transition.

What’s happening in your Midlife Chapter? Share a little about your journey with a comment below…and thanks for stopping by!

Stay tuned for another Woman Over 50 feature next month!

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Ageing

Ageing In The City | A New Season But What’s Changed?

Leave a Comment / Ageing, Change, Clarity, Midlife, Midlife woman, Midlife women, Mindset / By

And Just Like That...

"Maybe you have to let go of who you were in order to become who you will be"— Carrie Bradshaw

Amid sobering current events unfolding around the world, humor me. Let’s take a break as I delve deep to uncover ageing revelations within a series that teeters between superficial and soulful.

Sex & The City made its HBO debut in 1998. It chronicled the dating adventures of four single career women taking on the privileged social scene of The Big Apple with steely determination.

Yet swirling beneath the cutting-edge fashion were relatable dreams, insecurities, and challenges that all women have as they search for love and acceptance. Above all, there was a constant spotlight on valuing the power and security of female friendships.

ageing
It was always Happy Hour somewhere, with Samantha!

I remember never missing an episode when the first season aired. I was also in my 30’s, but that was the only commonality. I lived in the Midwest suburbs, juggling a full-time career with chasing an active toddler. There was no late night clubbing in spiked Manolos and satin slip dresses. Nor did I regularly sip on Cosmos during Happy Hours, chattering about current boyfriends or new restaurant openings.

“I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.” —Samantha Jones

Now, don’t misunderstand: I wasn’t unhappy with my life. But who doesn’t seek a little change of scenery every now and then? The S&TC sparkling repartee, the full social calendars, and the endless appearance of intriguing new men satisfied my yearning for a little escapism.

ageing
Charlotte, the Romantic, ISO the perfect man!

And for those who also tuned in eagerly, who didn’t ponder endlessly if they were more like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, or Charlotte? In their own unique ways, each was independent and smart, yet tenderly vulnerable. Sometimes even comical.

“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen! I’m exhausted! Where is he?” — Charlotte York

Yet consider this:

  • Each was in search of her Best Self, on her own terms
  • Each waffled between confidence and uncertainty
  • Each had a distinctive style
  • Each was on a journey to evolve

In a way, there was a little bit of each of us in each of them.

ageing
Old York or New York?

After an 18-year hiatus, the series resumed last year with And Just Like That. The series continues to dish up witty lines and feature beautiful people inhabiting penthouse pads or Brooklyn brownstones. It’s an affluent slice of life most of us don’t experience.

Now the ladies are navigating their 50’s and I was curious to learn what had changed with the ageing of the Fab Four?

  • What emotional baggage was shed?
  • What new paths were they forging?
  • What visible signs of aging would be present?
  • What frivolous footwear would middle-aged Carrie strut in?

While I don’t want to present spoiler alerts, I’ll confirm that the fashion show continues, along with the women’s nonchalant acceptance of their privileged status. But there are definitely some curve balls pitched for three of the four friends (Samantha is not part of the cast).

I was disappointed with the fatuous, slap-stick lines about ageing sprinkled liberally throughout. And the show’s heavy-handed inclusion of LGBTQ and POC characters felt contrived and calculated. Whatever was deemed essential for a PC cast or script—that was stuffed in there.

Regardless, this series was never about a deep dive into the challenges and issues unique to women. It was about skimming these topics in a superficial manner so we could focus on the eye candy and effortless banter. And they demonstrated how good friends keep us centered and moving forward.

Carrie nailed it with this statement:

“No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never go through it without your friends.” — Carrie Bradshaw

Who can argue with that?

The Wrap with Mary V

The Wrap on Ageing in The City

While ageing may not be realistically  (dare I say respectably) represented in the new series, it does deliver on plenty of frothy fashion, true to form.

I welcome the new cast lineup which is studded with diversity—yet it feels rather forced. Reminds me of how the last season of ER ended with a bang, literally: one after another of some of the most improbable hookups!

Female friendship continues as the enduring theme. Yet have you noticed that the ladies only gather when Carrie is present? Without her in the mix, you start to wonder exactly what the ladies have in common, other than her.

For a sneak peek (if you haven’t watched it yet) check out the trailer. 

A short read on my own midlife search for female friendship, is over here.

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Your turn!

  • Did you watch “And Just Like That…”? What did you think? Yay or Nay? 
  • What’s your take on how the series represented ageing?
  • Are you not a S&TC fan? Why is that?
  • How have your female friendships changed in midlife? Have they? Why do you think?

Drop your thoughts below … and thanks for stopping by!

travel light

Travel Light: The 5 Kilo Traveller On How To Pack Less & Roam More

6 Comments / Change, Lifestyle, Midlife, Midlife Story, Midlife woman, Midlife women, Mind, Body, & Spirit, Mindset / By

Your Packing Light Guide

Meet my Kiwi friend, Katherine, The 5 Kilo Traveller and fabulous resource for all things “travel light” and “pack light”! Hailing from Hamilton, New Zealand, she is the first in a new series spotlighting women over 50 rocking a new focus in their midlife chapter.

If you’re like me, it’s inspiring to hear about women our age seeking fun, trying something new, or sharing different perspectives on living our best lives.

And why not? We’ve earned the privilege to pursue new adventures. With careers changing or winding down and the kids out of the house, we now have the time to shift our attention to where we want to head next.

So grab your favorite beverage, sit back, and get to know Katherine and her philosophy that when we travel light, we travel best.

the 5 kilo traveller

"Not all those who wander are lost" — J.R.R. Tolkien

The 5 Kilo Traveller Back Story

Like many women over 50, Katherine’s worn a few different hats: wife, mom, employee, volunteer, fundraiser, etc. Her main career has been in nursing, a noble profession caring for others’ physical needs. Oftentimes, there are emotional or mental needs that present, as well. So yes, hospital workers definitely need an outlet to refresh and renew their own spirits.

A few years ago, her daughter left home for university, which was a stark reminder that her son was not far behind, either. It was time to contemplate her imminent empty nest. How did she envision spending newly available time and energy on just herself for a change?

∼ ∼ ∼ ∼ ∼ ∼ ∼ ∼ 

The First Midlife Solo Adventure

It was a planned ladies trip in 2017 that led to the birth of The 5 Kilo Traveller. When a friend bailed on Katherine right before booking, she was momentarily disappointed. But then her next thought was, “What if I did this anyway—by myself?” And so she did!

At the end of a glorious four week tour in Croatia and Italy, Katherine, looked back with awe. “It’s not that I lacked confidence before I left. It takes confidence to venture out as a solo woman. There were things I had to figure out on my own.”

In fact, her confidence amped up as her trip progressed. And she also realized that she was never really alone because of how many people she connected with along the way. It was reassuring and delightful to encounter other like-minded women in search of adventures, too.

Yet experiencing unmetered time to simply be was truly glorious! Katherine knew she needed and wanted more of that. “Filling every minute of every day—it’s exhausting! Being busy and having so much stuff seems to be societal values. Is it a competition?”

It felt like a lifetime since 20-year old Katherine had travelled alone across Europe. So it was exhilarating to do what she wanted, when she wanted, once again. As she put it, “I was over being told what to do!” 

But to ensure she could do things by herself…no husband to carry her luggage and no friend to guard her bag during a bathroom break…a massive amount of planning and a minimal amount of belongings were key. And so somewhere between creating her trusty spreadsheets and lightening her load, The 5 Kilo Traveller was born! Oh, and for my fellow Americans, 5 kilos is roughly 12 pounds.

solo travel

"I love spontaneity as long as it's carefully planned." — The 5 Kilo Traveller

Core Philosophy: Travel Light & Travel Solo

The joy simply radiates in Katherine’s face as she chats about how liberating her travel light approach really is. Yet she  is completely respectful of anyone’s preference to travel with more. 

“I’m not here to tell anyone what to do. But if you want to travel light, here’s how.”

Traveling light was initially about the weight of her bag, but overall lightness became an integral part of her everyday life, as well. She focuses on clearing clutter from her mind, her wardrobe, her relationships…ahhh, a gal after my own heart!

But strictly from a traveling perspective, she firmly believes going solo empowers the traveler. When you are able to carry everything you need on your back, you remove restrictions. No waiting in baggage claim (or having the airlines lose your luggage!), no hauling wheeled suitcases up flights of stairs or down uneven, cobblestone streets.

Solo traveling accommodates a mindset reset. One can revel in unscheduled time to think, to reflect, and to breathe. Take a nap, go for a hike, linger at a sidewalk cafe…you alone get to choose what will restore your balance! 

Katherine views her website and social media accounts as a creative outlet, not a moneymaking endeavor. She’s simply passionate about the power of packing and traveling light and so she loves inspiring others to do the same. Receiving feedback that another woman discovered the pleasure of traveling solo because of Katherine’s example is her greatest reward. Sounds like she’s found her happy place!

packing light tips

"Carry the lessons, not the luggage." — Saïd Amin

Katherine's Top Packing Tips

While her website and social media accounts are packed with a plethora of traveling light ideas, her favorite tips are as follows:

  • Don’t pack “just in case” stuff. I carried a swimsuit all around Europe and it never once came out of my bag. I only swim in the hottest weather and it was Spring. Always check the weather forecast! 
  • Pack merino /wool clothing that doesn’t need daily washing. I didn’t learn this until after my trip. I washed everything after one wear, not realizing that I could air my merino t-shirts every night and wear them for several days in a row with no smell!
  • Wear comfortable shoes that you’ve broken in at home. On my first trip, I packed black sneakers. I foolishly bought them just before leaving. I could only wear them when I didn’t have far to walk. Big mistake as they were also heavy and bulky in my bag.
Midlife Stories

Writing A New Midlife Chapter!

The Wrap On How To Travel Light

Why travel light? Why go solo? Katherine’s own words brings it all together:

=========================================

“Your dream may not be to travel light or to travel solo. But I know that many women around their 50’s (make that any age to be honest!!) get to that point of thinking, “What’s next?”

I’m not here to tell you what is next, but that there is a NEXT…. a next stage, a next plan, a next dream. We just need to get off our chuffs and grab it by the scruff of the neck!

Listen to your heart. Do something for you. 

Kick that fear out of the park! And GROW YOUR WINGS!” 

=========================================

Nothing thrills Katherine more than inspiring other women to follow in her footsteps. You can connect with her here:

Website: the5kilotraveller

Instagram: @the5kilotraveller

Facebook: the5kilotraveller

Do you dream of shifting into your own new adventure? Head here for how to get started. Already on your way? Share what’s happening with a comment below …and thanks for stopping by!

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