mental decluttering

Christmas Spirit

Holiday Advice: Don’t Place These Three Things Under Your Tree!

Holiday countdown in 3—2—1…let the shopping begin! 🛍

Does it feel like the race is on, now that Christmas commercialism is in full swing? Despite our best efforts, it’s easy to succumb to the notion that we need to spend freely and often.

“Lowest prices all year!” 🛒  Don’t miss out on all the deals!” 🛒  “Hurry before they’re gone!” 🛒 

If we truly loved our family, we would show it with a multitude of smartly wrapped gifts. Our homes would be fully decked out with holiday decor. The table would be groaning with handcrafted dishes and treats. Really? 🤫

Before we get swept too deeply into the retail hype of the season, let’s pause for a commercial break.  (hehe, see what I did there?! 🤓)

Today’s #CoffeeBreakStory focuses on avoiding 3 over-the-top behaviors for a holiday that is meaningful and relaxing.

So grab your peppermint scented cocoa ☕️ and read on!

holiday
freestocks.org | pexels

1. Over-spending

Everyone has different perspectives on what to buy and how much to drop 💵 for the holidays. 

Who wants to be a Scrooge? 

We start feeling the twinge of guilt if we don’t buy something for parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, friends, neighbors, and so on.  

Then while shopping, we are seduced by the sale prices and the desire for something new. Why shouldn’t we treat ourselves, as well?

Without a doubt, retail marketers are stellar with redirecting our focus to spend on ourselves as well as each and every person who touches our life in some way.

Yet what if we stop and think about expressing our love, affection, or friendship in a different way? 🤔

Certainly, thoughtful packages under the tree are always appreciated. But if we are frantically shopping with no particular item in mind because someone already “has everything” or is “hard to shop for“, is a physical present the ideal token of our love?

Or will it end up being something never used or stashed and forgotten in a drawer or closet?

Think about the impersonal “teaser” items on racks jamming store aisles or suggested items on curated lists of “what to buy“. They are often the first things to declutter when it’s time to keep only what matters.

Consider giving what doesn’t have a physical price tag attached.

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gift of friendship
kari fumek | pexels

The gift of our appreciation and fellowship is priceless! ✨

How about a special holiday card with a hand-written message about how much we value that person in our life?

What if we express our love with a gathering at our home: a potluck where everyone participates in creating the meal?Alternatively, a catered meal with less work for all?

How about activities: an outing to a movie, a show, a bowling alley, or even a weekend summer getaway? You choose what fits your budget.

Our presence together 💝 will be remembered long after the presents are discarded.

holiday
elina fairytale | pexels

2. Over-decorating

I have many fond childhood memories of preparing for the holidays. 

I remember Dad bundling up as he braved the Midwest cold and snow to hang outdoor lights. Next, he would haul in the live tree for the rounds of ornaments and silver tinsel. The family cat would even scale the tree at some point!😹

Mom would unpack and arrange the Nativity créche in the living room. Familiar Christmas knickknacks were also displayed. Then finally, brightly wrapped packages would gradually appear under the tree.🎄

Holiday baking also played  a large role  as we anticipated Christmas Eve and Santa Claus!

These holiday rituals will never fade from my mind.

Yet is there a point when the decorating becomes too much?

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family first
nicole michalou | pexels

Does your Inner Over-Achiever detract from the fun and the fellowship? 

If you find yourself stressing over how long your to-do list is, consider scaling it back!✂️

It’s also easy to get carried away with adorning every room. Your guests may appreciate a coordinated theme; you enjoy the compliments. But at the end of the day, it’s the laughter and the conversation that truly take center stage.

Don’t lose sight of what your own priorities are, in the scheme of things. 

Simple yet elegant touches can still relay the holiday spirit without demanding excessive time and effort on your part.

overdoing
kostya levit naddubov | pexels

3. Over-doing

Who doesn’t want things to be just right? 

From the gifts and the decorations to your holiday outfit and the tablescape, there are so many moving parts to orchestrate. 

IG Influencers, Pinterest Pros and TikTok-ers share remarkably clever decorating ideas but who can possibly execute all of them? 😝  Social media sets the bar high—too high! 

Once again, the focus gets distorted when we invest our energy on the outward appearances at the expense of relaxing time with those who matter to us.

Why not choose just one or two areas that you enjoy embellishing?

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simplify
ma boîte a photos | pexels

Pause and choose the activities that most resonate with you.

Are you the “Yes, Chef” type?  Then relish the Christmas baking.👩‍🍳  Are you more of the “crafty” type? Go forth with paper, fabric, and stamping supplies for uniquely adorned decor and gifts. 🎁   

In fact, recruit your family or guests to join in with the meal prep or even some of the tree decorating. 

There’s no reason you need to master it all! 

 It might surprise you to learn that people care less about the full menu or extensive decorating than you do. So this is definitely a time to reconsider where to focus your energy if other activities are preferred (by you) or appreciated more by others.

There’s no pressure to do everything—other than what is self-imposed. 🤯

holiday

The Wrap On Holiday Prep

The holidays are a peak time for folks to be stressed, depressed or some combination of the two. 

Relax! Cut yourself some slack. We feel the tug to get a gazillion things done even though our time is already filled with everyday obligations.

Give yourself permission to release the unrealistic expectations that often descend at this time of year.

Why let social media or the retail marketers dictate what is meaningful for you? The pressure is relentless. Which is why disconnecting from the hype is critical so you can hone in on what you choose to do.

Fellowship, laughter and love: those are the best gifts to place under the tree!  They never go out of style and they stay in our heart forever! ❤️

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Circle back to this post for more simplifying concepts:  But First: Plan Now For A Peaceful Holiday Season!

Head here and close your eyes: listen to a soothing 6-minute peaceful instrumental music roundup! The Christmas Pines

…and thanks for stopping by! 🤗

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In Case You Missed It 👇🏼

A New Story

A Formula For Figuring Out What To Do Next

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are" —e.e. cummings

The countless number of current choices available for how to live our lives is nothing short of astonishing. Which can also make them overwhelming.

No wonder my head hurts when I’m yearning to embark on a new path! I find myself doing everything other than making a selection for what to do next….because the pressure to choose the “right” course of action is real (I’m deconstructing this concept in a bit, so hang tight).

It’s been a bit since I last posted here, for a few reasons: the effects of the pandemic, the distraction of a new writing platform, the cacophony of social media, and my customary response which is to hide pause 😉

But when a pause becomes an absence and then it morphs into persistent angst, it’s definitely time for taking some action, don’t you agree?

Today’s post is about how I’m going to use a process of reflection, trust, and action to shift into a new purpose this year.

what to do next

"What does not add to your happiness or life becomes a burden" —John Robbins

1. Reflect On What Energizes Me

Thought leaders and coaches talk about Discovering Our Why, Doing What We Love, or Uncovering Our Passion. All are variations of a theme, which is  identifying What Energizes Us so we can know what to do next.

Yet we have more than one purpose in life. This is evidenced by the various roles we’ve assumed over the years. Wife, Partner, Lover, Mother, Sister, Daughter, Employee, Employer, Neighbor— the list is long.

When one role ends or demands less of our time, we may not easily or immediately land on what our next role in a new life chapter should be.

But right there … the words “should be” … perhaps this is precisely why it feels challenging. Who is the Decider of  “should be”: Is it us? Society? Family or friends? 

What if we choose to be the sole author of our new chapter? In fact, what if we choose based on what “could be”? Doesn’t that feel better?

After all, the reality is that there are any number of possible paths. Some will be easier than others. Choosing one depends on what matters most to us. What we are willing to invest in terms of time and resources. What we are willing to forego in order to pursue a certain goal.

And what matters most to us can also change over time. Our priorities sometimes change as we ourselves evolve. 

For now, consider what gets you energized, just thinking about it. The things you don’t get tired of talking about or doing. The things you’ve put off or are curious about. Now can be the time to explore those paths.

Just remember, if it doesn’t feel right at any time, you can always pivot. But give it a chance so you’ll know if it makes sense for you.

what to do next

" May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears" —Nelson Mandela

2. Trust My Choices

Secondly, it’s not about choosing the “right” path as opposed to the “wrong” path. Instead, come up with a short list of possible next moves that are not impractical… that are fun, intriguing….that feel intuitively worth exploring. Who knows where they may lead!

If your choice begins to feel like a slog, then it’s simply time to reassess whether to continue or not. Maybe it’s just a temporary phase where the learning curve is initially steep. Or maybe it’s time to ponder whether to keep going.

Either way, just pick a path and see how it develops. Set a time limit to come back and re-evaluate whether to continue or not. When you look back on this chapter what would you rather say: “I gave this a shot but learned it wasn’t what I thought it would be” or “I wish I had given this a little more time to really know for sure”?

After all, regret is not something any of us want to include in our last life chapter, is it! 

what to do next

"The key to having power is to take it" —Boss Tweed

3. Take The Next Step

Once you’ve selected a path, it’s time to get in motion. Take the leap! 

If you’re like me, it’s easy to get caught up in your head, ruminating about this, that, and the other. You may spend (too much) time watching others doing their thing while you idle on the sidelines. When will you get going? 

A body in motion stays in motion; a body at rest stays at rest.” —Sir Isaac Newton

So, yes: time to begin! Take the first step and know that it doesn’t have to be a big one. And then take another. Followed by another. Just identifying and executing a series of small steps is how to get out of your way so you can get on your way.

And if that insidious companion called Perfectionism holds you back, here’s how to tell it to take a hike.

The Wrap on a Process for figuring out what's next

listen

A basic trifecta of reflection, trust and action can shift us into writing a new life chapter when it’s time for a change.

It requires allowing ourselves the time and space to listen to what makes our hearts happy. It rquires that we mute the outside voices and forces (and sometimes that inner voice critic) that tells us what we should do. How we choose to write our next chapter should be up to only us, amiright?

So pay attention to what lights you up, pick a path and get going. Prepare for some twists and turns along the way. Plan to pivot here and there. But this is your life to live, no one else’s. And know that I’m cheering you on, all the way!

…..

I can’t be the only one feeling restless and untethered these days. It’s been a long haul the past two years. But now I’m formulating a plan to start moving ahead with my writing again. I know what energizes me, I’m focusing on only my own writing and no one else’s and I’m taking the little steps. Boom!

So tell me:

  • If you’ve been in the same boat, what are you doing to shake things up?
  • If you’re smooth sailing ahead, how did you set yourself free?

Any insights you care to share in the comments below are always welcome.

…and thanks for stopping by! ♥

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